Sunday, January 18, 2009

Late-comers are from Venus

I think too much has been made out of this men are from mars and women
from venus thing. I think if you really want to study two different
species, you ought to look at people who are habitually on time and
those who are always late.

I belong to the first species and have been surrounded by people who
are habitual late-comers. At home, in office, among my friends – this
other species dominates the population nearly as much as right handers

In order to further the cause of science, I offer below a few
characteristics of this species. To begin with let's give them a
name. I like to call them Homo Latiens to distinguish them from the
rest of us Home Sapiens.

1. Home Latiens always make you wait, but hate to wait themselves.
They make sure that they find something else to do that takes a little
longer than what you are doing, so that you end up waiting.

2. You can't out-late a Homo Latien. This is a corollary of the first
statement. If you think you can be later than them, all I can say to
you is "Ha!"

3. Homo Latiens are amazing at multi-tasking. See picture above.

4. Homo Latiens are absent minded. They always forget the most
important things. Their wallets. The projector. The file. The
gift. The keys. Then they have to go back and get it while you wait.

5. Homo Latiens think they are super efficient. They think everything
will get done in 5 minutes. Or in a jiffy. Whichever takes less
time. Home Sapiens tend to think in much longer time segments.

6. Homo Latiens think the last lap takes the most amount of time.
Having delayed themselves and everybody else, a typical Homo Latien
will sprint the last lap to the car, the door, down the steps or
whatever. Thus making up for lost time.

7. Homo Latiens are emergency prone. Somehow emergencies always seem
to crop up in their lives. That's actually what makes them late.
Somehow Homo Sapiens don't have so many emergencies. Please note that
going to the loo at the last minute counts as an emergency.

I would welcome further study into this species and in how the two
species – homo sapiens and homo latiens - interact with each other.